From gollingj@keystone.westminster.edu Fri Nov 28 20:42:44 1997
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 1997 22:54:07 -0500
From: "G. Gollinger" <gollingj@keystone.westminster.edu>, 
    UNEXPECTED_DATA_AFTER_ADDRESS@.SYNTAX-ERROR.
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: Re: need help ASAP

On Wed, 19 Nov 1997, madmac wrote:

> Tammy Reitzler wrote:
> > 
> > hi ya!!
> > 
> > i have lurked here for about a year and ran across a computer thing
> > with some type of title like "what they say and what they really mean"
> > 
> > i need it ASAP because i am going to be dealing with computer ppl
> > tomorrow on the phone and i need amunition with their smart ass remarks.
> > 
> > thanks in advance,
> > 
> > tammy
> subject:       Computer Acronyms
> 
> Understanding acronyms at a glance is a crucial skill in today's
> fast-paced, high-tech world!
> 
> Thus this list:
> ISDN		It Still Does Nothing
> APPLE		Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
> SCSI		System Can't See It
> DOS		Defective Operating System
> BASIC		Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
> IBM		I Blame Microsoft
> DEC		Do Expect Cuts
> CD-ROM	Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly
> OS/2		Obsolete Soon, Too.
> WWW		World Wide Wait
> MACINTOSH	Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs     
> PENTIUM	Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math
> COBOL		Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
> AMIGA		A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
> LISP		Lots of Infuriating Silly Parenthesis
> MIPS		Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
> WINDOWS	Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
> MICROSOFT	Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

ATM	Another Technical Mistake
FDDI	Fuckin' Dickheads Designed It
ADA	American Defense Atrocity
HP	Headache Producer
SUN	Save Users Now!
SGI	Seymour Gave In [Seymour Cray]
LINUX	Linus's INoperable Unix eXcuse
BSDI	Bill Sucks Dick Interminally
MAC	Mindlessly Acting Computer
NeXT	Never Even eXperienced Trials
ODBC	Odiously (or Obviously) Designed By Committee
APL	A Programming Languish
PERL	Programming Entirely Redundant Lists
AWK	Another Weird Kludge
NT	Neanderthal Technology
PASCAL	Particularly Asinine, Sorry, Cruddy, Atrophied Language


G. Gollinger
http://keystone.westminster.edu/~gollingj (Now with JavaScript!)
gollingj {at} keystone {dot} westminster {dot} ee-dee-you
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be
considered a criminal offense.
					- Edsger W. Dijkstra