======== Path: Supernews69!supernews.com!uunet!in1.uu.net!155.229.2.176!metro.atlanta.com!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!dispatch.news.demon.net!demon!xanthim.demon.co.uk!not-for-mail From: jonH@xanthim.demon.co.uk (Jon Hartley) Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes,alt.tasteless Subject: Re: THE ALT.TASTELESS THEME SONG!!!! Date: Sat, 05 Jul 1997 19:12:53 GMT Message-ID: <33be9951.130662@news.demon.co.uk> References: <01bc87f7$213c40c0$754a07c4@monster> NNTP-Posting-Host: xanthim.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: xanthim.demon.co.uk [158.152.12.191] X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.0/32.390 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 182 Xref: Supernews69 alt.tasteless.jokes:166634 alt.tasteless:129728 On 3 Jul 1997 21:20:28 GMT, "AndrewBk" wrote: >Come guys, some of you out there must have the theme song (The one that >ryhms to "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music) >Either repost it or email it to me at rodbk@iafrica.com This is off topic, it's definitely tasteless, but too serious for a.t.j. Should be on a.t. where this message is x-posted. Please trim your headers and post follow-ups in alt.tasteless. For some time I have been searching the net fot this to no avail. So, since someone else remembers it, here's some of it! I expect to get a lot of additional verses because this has cost me a lot of pain! (a) from retyping it from an old hardcopy and (b) from having a good laugh. The fucker gets archived from now on! If the typing is inacurate or you don't like the piss-poor Brit spelling and doubtful punctuation, well fuck you! The official alt.tasteless theme song Credit: Crunchy Frog Boogers and squicking and really gross habits, Taking lawn mowers and running down rabbits, Grinding a few slugs to death 'neath my boots. These are a few of my favourite pursuits. Photos of faeces and samples of farting. The sight of the squeamish folks quickly departing. Castrating yourself with a small loop of string. These are the things that alt.tastless will bring. When I piss blood, when I blow chucks When I'm feeling sad... I simply tune in to a certain newsgroup, And I don't feel so bad. Fucking cadavers and licking their snatches, Burning your gonads with several matches. "I like to blow sheepdogs. Please, am I okay?" Alt.tasteless provides this for free every day! If it's nasty and unpleasant If it's really vile... It can be found here, on this humble news group (We just like to make you smile). Credit: Steve Monson Dicks that are stolen and placed in girls' handbags, Feco-stalagmites and crusty old snotrags, Kittens by motorbikes ground to a paste, All evoke images too good to waste. Super-glued condoms with ground glass and fish hooks, Flatulent recipes, new road kill cookbooks, Ovine pudenda with mucus bedewed: These are our stories, both tasteless and rude! When my fiends say "That's disgusting"! I know right away, The folks in this newsgroup won't turn me away. Alt.tasteless, you make my day! Credit: Kevin Skelm Peeled babies sucked dry by thousands of leeches, AIDS-ridden garbage on North Eastern beaches, Suck fuckers piercing their dicks with steel rings... These are a few of my favourite things! Credit: Richard Barry Ling Toilet bowls clogged up with soft slimly faeces, Guys giving head jobs to various species, Dead cats on roadsides, to name but a few - These are the things that make me want to spew! Bubbling loogies of curling green mucus, Stories of vomitors, retchers and pukers, Chickens all trussed up with tape round their wings - These are a few of my favourite things! Big balls of snot roasting slowly on spits, Blood and pus oozing like toothpaste from zits, Mould filled vaginas and foetus dissection These are the things that give me an erection! Old dried up earthworms lying rotting in drains, Rat's heads exploding when attached to the mains. Six metre stalactites made from dried crap - Please pass a bucket, I'm about to throw up... Hawks ripping rabbits to shreds with their talons. Fat slags with pussies that hold seven gallons. Dark hairy armpits and hot blowfly soup - Such are the thighs that you'll read in this group. Farts which just make the tears flow from your eyes, Tits which hang right down to cellulite thighs, Open heart surgery, digs cut in half - Now please excuse me, I'm going to barf. Credit: Dave Rhubhymen Squicking new-born babies with my beastly penis, Blood sucking bastards with huge genital penis's, Posting great GIF's of females with dicks, These are a few of my favourite things! Credit: Danniel J. Blumenfeld Stories about pets eating shards of ground glass, Sticking explosives up a cat's inflamed arse. Recipes for chunky cream of shit stew. Delivered from a.t. directly to you. Dining on road-kill from wide studded tyres, Burning the genitals with Nichrome wires, Condensing one's farts with liquid nitrogen. Posted on a.t. again and again. How to make head cheese with two-week old jism, Tasteless jokes made at and cataclysm, Death of small children in hilarious ways. You could read a.t. endlessly for days. Fermented stench of yeast-infected pussies, Green slimly turdlets from baby's raw tushies, Talk of bodily fluids incredibly vile. It's better than sex, so read a.t. awhile. Giving enemas made with chilli powder, The etiquette of serving chilled maggot chowder. Comments and critiques amuse and appal, This forum of tastelessness will reveal all. Mutilating scrota of yapping poodles, Baking used tampons into cherry strudels, Porking pus-filled eyes of the dead. Reading A.t. is like getting good head. When you want to Be so sickened That you'll need to hurl. Just tap into a.t. and read all the posts, and experience gross-out world Credit: Phineas Narco Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens, Disembowelled babies and dismembered kittens, Brown paper letter bombs tied up with string, These are a few of my favourite things. Girls with white dresses with blue satin sashes, I love to whip them with long leather lashes. Serial killers who do nasty things, These are a few of my favourite things. Priests, nuns and school girls cut up in pieces, Car crashes, throat slashes, deadly diseases, Overturned cop cars and needles that sting. These are a few of my favourite things. When I', bored and feeling rotten, When I'm feeling sad, I think of a few of my favourite things And then I go completely mad! Credit: Geoff Miller When I get the leisure, I will retype the alternative a.t. theme song which runs to the tune of 'Things that remind me of you'. AND..... the Tasteless Alphabet for Kids. -- Jon Hartley