From nf-nt-smi.!news1.jaring.my!news2.jaring.my!uunet!in3.uu.net!206.229.87.25!news-peer.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!Sprint!EU.net!sun4nl!Leiden.NL.net!Zwolle.NL.net!Utrecht.NL.net!knoware.nl!usenet Wed May 14 12:47:34 1997 Path: nf-nt-smi.!news1.jaring.my!news2.jaring.my!uunet!in3.uu.net!206.229.87.25!news-peer.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!Sprint!EU.net!sun4nl!Leiden.NL.net!Zwolle.NL.net!Utrecht.NL.net!knoware.nl!usenet From: Jeroen van Kessel Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes Subject: alt.tasteless.jokes FAQ (1/1) Date: Sun, 11 May 1997 16:55:24 +0200 Organization: PELLETS 'R' US Lines: 325 Message-ID: <3375DDDC.5269CD80@knoware.NOSPAM.nl> Reply-To: Jeroen van Kessel NNTP-Posting-Host: huisie-ppp2.knoware.nl Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.0b3 [en] (Win95; I) X-Priority: 3 (Normal) [Alt.Tasteless.Jokes FAQ] --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Version 4.6 Posting Frequency: Every Week Last-modified: April 29 1997 Maintained by Jeroen van Kessel (jvkessel@knoware.nl) Formerly maintained by Dave Pease (dpease@c-prompt-sd.com) HTML by Steven Willoughby (oracle@synapse.net) Changes: new objoke --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Introduction Greetings and welcome to what used to be the funniest place on the Internet. Unfortunately, through lack of proper use atj is not what it used to be. Please read this FAQ if you are a newcomer to the group or if you think it's okay to flame (racists, England, Minnesota, USA, Joe Kohn, John Griffin, etc.) without writing a joke. If you don't feel like reading this entire faq, please remember the following statement: *** DON'T POST TO THE NEWSGROUP WITHOUT INCLUDING A JOKE *** As long as you always abide by this, and others do the same, this newsgroup will be a much more rewarding endeavor for everyone. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Table of Contents 1. Introduction 2. Table of Contents 3. Safe Use of atj - a note for newbies 4. Frequently Asked Questions 5. Other resources 6. Conclusion 7. objoke 8. Take me to the alt.tasteless.jokes newsgroup --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Safe Use of atj - a note for newbies So you are a new participant in this newsgroup, eh? Well, I hope you have your asbestos suit handy--because, regardless of what folks say, atj is a mine field for new members. The people who read this group are not very patient with silly mistakes, and are not very restrained in going about flaming them. This place is not for the weak of spirit... That being said, if you go over this FAQ carefully, your chances of posting unburned will be significantly higher. And just remember: if there's one thing this newsgroup needs, it's new blood, newbies with new jokes. So, regardless of the result, if you are posting new material to atj, your work will be appreciated by the (probably silent) majority. Good luck. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Frequently Asked Questions Q: Hi. I don't want to read this whole long faq. Got any quick advice for me? A: Yes. Don't post anything to this newsgroup without including a tasteless joke along with it. That's the most important thing I can tell you. Q: I see the description of this newsgroup is "sometimes disgusting rather than tasteless or funny." Does that mean it's proper to post stuff that is just plain disgusting, even if it's not funny? A: No. The description was written that way because too many folks post useless junk instead of tasteless jokes. If everyone posted appropriate material to this newsgroup, that description would no longer apply. Let's all work towards this end. Please post only tasteless jokes here. Q: Hi, I'm not interested in what this group's about, I'm just testing my news gateway here, sorry about that, only be a minute- A: There are places for testing your net connection. This is not one of them. Neither is any other newsgroup not named alt.test. Please take your tests there. Q: Hey, I found this *great* document entitled "MAKE MONEY FAST" written by this visionary named Dave Rhodes that I'd like to show to all you guys- A: Please don't. MAKE MONEY FAST (as well as it's many derivatives such as QUICKCASH!!!) are shams and are guaranteed to make everyone on the net hate you. It is unlikely to make you any money, the whole process is of dubious legality, and Dave Rhodes is in jail. Q: I like humor, but I don't want to be offended. Is alt.tasteless.jokes for me? A: No. Why don't you go to rec.humor.funny (a moderated newsgroup guaranteed to be unoffensive) or rec.funny (which is probably a safer bet for the thin-skinned)? Q: I saw a joke that I liked, and I have a somewhat related joke that I would like to post under the same thread. How should I go about doing this? A: Just go about your business using common sense. If it was a long story joke that you read, and you want to post a joke relating to it, you probably do not need to copy the whole joke into your reply. This is especially inappropriate if you post a one-liner after a five paragraph story joke. This wastes time, wastes money, and is generally a good way to get yourself flamed. Q: I saw a joke that I liked. I'd like to tell the poster so. What is the accepted way of doing this? A: It's always better to do these things via email. Consider that the person who you wish to congratulate might not get on this newsgroup very often, and consider that most of the other people around here probably are not very interested in what you have to say, and the best course of action should be clear to you. Q: I saw a joke that just was not funny. It bothered me because it made reference to (Hitler, Jews, whites, blacks, homosexuals, etc.) in a desparaging manner. What can I do about this? A: Good question. A general rule of thumb in this situation is that no one cares what you think. If you post to the net with a flame of this joke, you waste bandwidth and all you are doing is pissing other people off. If a joke is not funny, just let it die in peace. If you have a good sense of humor, and have correctly gauged the joke's value, it will disappear quickly. If not, you, and not the poster, may be the one with the problem. Q: That's not good enough. I want to let this person know that I do not appreciate the joke and possibly shame him/her into refraining from posting in the future. What do I do now? A: It's always good to have such dedication on this group - keeps us strong. If you feel the need to flame the poster of this joke, by all means do it. Hey, it's a free world, right? But bandwidth is very expensive so if you need to flame please do it by email if at all possible. Q: It's not possible. I want to tell the world what I think. I'm posting on the net and if you don't like it then screw off, okay? A: I was afraid it would get to this point. If you need to post a flame for everyone to see and appreciate (and I have seen some flames that qualify as being meterial that I appreciate) then post a joke with it. That's what the 'objoke' means on all of these posts around here. Were this newsgroup used correctly there would be at least one joke in every post. So if you've got a complaint that you want the world to hear, include a joke that you want the world to hear and you will be much more appreciated. Q: Okay, how about this (Zeke, bigtex, et. al.) guy? He really pisses me off every time he posts - and he posts a lot. How do I get him to stop? Flame every one of his posts? A: It's called a killfile. Look into it. Q: I saw a joke that was very insensitive to the struggles of (insert minority here). Isn't that illegal? A: Look. Can you read the name of this group? Here, let me help you - alt.tasteless.jokes. When you read a joke about blacks, or chicanos, or mathematicians, what you are reading is the epitome of tastelessness, i.e. judging a group of people based on stereotypes. My advice to you would be deal with it. I guarantee that for every one of you who is offended, a bunch of tasteless people found the joke very funny. So shut yer yap. I have seen many a joke that I should have found offensive because they dealt with white folks. But Whitey jokes do not bother me at all because I don't take this newsgroup too seriously like some other people seem to. Remember who you are dealing with here: not alt.sensitivity, alt.save.the.earth, alt.save.the.whales., or alt.inner.child. The people who post here are often crude, obnoxious and unpresentable in public. Hence the term tasteless in the newsgroup title. If you are offended by a joke then perhaps you are in the wrong place. And no, it's not illegal to post such a joke. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. Other resources A. Humor newsgroups * alt.humor.best-of-usenet - The funniest posts from all over the usenet. * alt.humor.puns - If you find such things funny... * rec.humor.funny - A moderated newsgroup. Tame. * rec.humor - Less caustic than atj. * talk.bizarre - Funny-peculiar stuff. B. Tasteless newsgroups * alt.tasteless - The drainage culvert below the information superhighway. * alt.tasteless.penis - I haven't got a clue and I probably am better off that way... * alt.binaries.pictures.tasteless - Stomach-turning binary posts. C. Flame newsgroups * alt.flame - If you'd like to generically piss someone off for no good reason, atj is *not* the best place to do it. In alt.flame, they like this type of thing. Get off on it or something. Whatever. In any case, please post your basic flames here, and not in atj. * alt.nuke.europe - If you've got a problem with England, this is a *great* place to check out. * alt.nuke.the.USA - If you've got a problem with the United States, this is a *great* place to check out. D. Web sites See the Humor HOTList for other WWW sites. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. Conclusion If you have anything to add or subtract, mail me at jvkessel@knoware.nl. (you don't even need to have a joke in your message as long as it's not posted.) If you want to flame me (or anyone) by mail, please do so. If you want to flame me (or anyone) in the newsgroup please include an objoke when you do so. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. objoke These four gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. My son," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift." The second man, not to be outdone, allows how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift." The third man's son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift. As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. "To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son has turned out, he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's a practicing homosexual. But, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates." 8. Take me to the alt.tasteless.jokes newsgroup ---------------------------------------------------------------------------