AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented BMW Babbling Mechanical Wench Bavaria's Mechaniacal Wench Beastly Monsterous Wonder Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Big Money Waste Big Money Works Blasphemous Motorized Wreck Born Moderately Wealthy Bought My Wife Break My Windows Broken Money Waster Brutal Money Waster Bumbling Mechanical Wretch BUICK Big Ugly Imported Car Killer Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer CHEVROLET/CHEVY Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Cracked Head; Every Valve Rattles; Oil Leaks Every Time Charged Heavily Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet DODGE Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation Fix It All the Time Fix it again, Tony! FORD backwards -- Driver Returns On Foot First On Recall Day First On Rust and Deterioration Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Fault Of R&D Fast Only Rolling Downhill Features O.J. and Ron's DNA Fucked-Over Rebuilt Dodge Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's Fucker Only Runs Downhill GM General Maintenance Gasoline Muncher GMC Garage Man's Companion Gotta Mechanic Coming? Generally Mediocre Cars Got More Chicks Got More Crap HONDA Had One Never Did Again HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive... JAGUAR Jerkoff's Automobile Gets Utterly Astonishing Resale KIA Korea's Imbecile Automobile MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along MOPAR (Chrysler Parts) Most Often Passed At Races Mostly Old Parts And Rust NISSAN "New, Improved" Shit that Stalls All Night Nippon's Imported Shit Sucks A Nut OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment Old Lady Drives Seven Mph On Busy Interstate; Late Everytime PLYMOUTH Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood! Pussy Lips in Your Mouth PONTIAC Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac SAAB Send Another Automobile Back Such An Arrogant Bastard! Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown Swedish Automobiles Are Bitchy TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object VW Very Wasteful Virtually Worthless (note from Greg: Additions can be e-mailed to gollingj@keystone.westminster.edu or sent to usenet's alt.tasteless.jokes)