From sunnyd@mail.gte.net Tue Sep 23 11:15:40 1997 Date: 21 Sep 1997 05:45:49 GMT From: Angie Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes Subject: Wife 1.0, Girlfriend 3.0, 3.1 & Upgrades It has become apparent that some users are experiencing compatibility problems when two different programs, WIFE v1.0 onwards, and MISTRESS, try to occupy the same domain. Installing Mistress on the same hardware as Wife can have unpredictable results. In all cases Mistress should be kept in a hidden folder, preferably with read only access. Known problems to occur when Mistress tries to access files in use by Wife are memory faults and random hardware interupts. In some cases, your server can go down unexpectedly. Too many general protection faults may cause either program to grow in size, severely limiting disk space. There can also be added risk from viruses. Overuse of Mistress can leave traces on the hardware. These can sometime be detected by random scanning by Wife, which will then attempt to find the hidden folder and delete the Mistress files. Whether or not the Mistress program is found, in most cases both programs will be unusable, the hard drive will be downsized to a floppy, and the input/output port may go off line altogether, often resulting in a permanent change of base address. Once the scan, search and delete algorithm is initiated, it can set up a feedback loop, and will continue until Mistress is deleted or the system hangs with an unrecoverable error. Attempts to re-install an upgraded version of Mistress after a system crash are extremely inadvisable. Upgrading Mistress to Wife v2 can sometimes solve the problem, but will almost certainly delete money files. If upgrading from Wife v3 onwards, sanity files may already be corrupted, possibly resulting in the permanent loss of Command.com. We strongly recommend if users are attempting to run these programs side by side to initiate the most stringent security measures. Dont assume your Windows are closed. Always wipe your hard drive after accessing pirated software. Beware of shareware, you might pick up a virus. REMEMBER, IT IS YOUR HARDWARE AT RISK. Wife 1.0, Girlfriend 3.0, 3.1 & Upgrades Dear Wife Helpdesk, I have had a bizarre experience beginning with Girlfriend 3.0. I was playing with the registry one day and found that the only difference between Girlfriend 3.0 and Wife 1.0 was two registry values. Wife 1.0 was pretty cool at first since it didn't have the curfew setting and came with some extra resources I could only demo in Girlfriend 3.0. After a while though some of my favorite features from Girlfriend 3.0 began to run into problems. The headache feature kept pushing the fun feature out of memory and the graphics started to fade. Try as I might, I couldn't get Wife 1.0 to revert to Girlfriend 3.0. Thinking I had nothing to loose I kept twiddling with Wife 1.0 and it spawned RUGRAT 1.0 and RUGRAT 2.0 and RUGRAT 3.0 sub programs. Those have kept me so busy with stack overflows, memory leaks, and sound problems that I haven't had much time to fiddle with Wife 1.0 much anymore. Everytime I try RUGRAT 3.0 seems to make itself memory resident which tends to cause Wife 1.0 to crash. Restarting Wife 1.0 takes so long after that, that I usually pack it in for the night and go to bed. I've been thinking about the Mistress 1.0 program but I'm worried about the compatibility problems like everyone else. My main concern is that trying to uninstall Wife 1.0 will leave me with so few system resources that Mistress 1.0 won't work anymore. Does anyone know if there is a patched version for Wife 1.0 that has the nice graphical features of Girlfriend 3.0 and the utilities I've come to expect with Wife 1.0?? Thanks... John Reply from Wife Help Desk Dear Sir, There currently is no patched version of Wife 1.0 with the specs you define in above last paragraph. However, I do have some useful info re: RUGRAT programs. RUGRATs are metered software apps; that is, after 18 years, the applications no longer occupy resident memory and are instead archived to your harddrive. The RUGRATs may be temporarily restored as you like, like on Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. We have been told by users that Wife 1.0 quickly regains much of the original optimum performance levels as before compilation of the RUGRAT subprograms. One word of caution: we have had a few reports of the metering function malfunctioning, resulting in the RUGRAT occupying resident memory beyond 18 years; in some cases well into 30 or more years. There is a patch available on our FTP site: UPAYRENT.EXE, which seems to solve the problem. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Girlfriend Helpdesk, Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiance 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiance 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, has taken all his space; and Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw. Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4.0... A "Don't remind me again" button Minimize button Shutdown feature An installshield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects) "Abort" button I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Another thing that sucks--in all versions of Girlfriend that I've used is that it is totally "object orientated" and only supports hardware with gold plated contacts. ***** BUG WARNING ******** Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources. ....Angie