========
Path: Supernews69!supernews.com!news.gv.tsc.tdk.com!newsfeed.wli.net!su-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!infeed1.internetmci.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!205.139.62.3!news.cyberhighway.net!not-for-mail
From: joke@{remove}cheerful.com (Zul)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.humor,alt.tastelesshumor,alt.tasteless.jokes,alt.tastless.jokes,eunet.jokes,z-netz.alt.jokes
Subject: Writing Home the Easy Way
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 1997 09:20:42 GMT
Organization: CyberHighway Internet Services
Lines: 131
Message-ID: <34045531.122909723@news.cyberhighway.net>
NNTP-Posting-Host: 206.26.253.7
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.01/32.397
Xref: Supernews69 rec.humor:326325 alt.humor:10319 alt.tasteless.jokes:172283 alt.tastless.jokes:657 eunet.jokes:41046 z-netz.alt.jokes:2780

Writing Home the Easy Way 

Date: ___________


Dear Parent(s),

I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics
of interest to both of us.

Please send:

__ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______
__ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________
__ Clean clothes!


Relationships:

__ What?
__ I am in love with myself
__ I am in love!
__ I am engaged
__ I got married last weekend

My Roommate:

__ Worships the ground I walk on
__ Gave me a black eye
__ Committed suicide and left a note saying I was the reason
__ Is afraid of the dark and wants to sleep with me in my bed ???
__ Has fleas

My Professors are:

__ Sadistic water walkers
__ Mental institution escapees
__ Brain dead nerds
__ Super oxygen thieves
__ All of the above

Latest News:

__ I wrecked the car
__ I can't use your credit card because I have exceeded the credit
   limit
__ You are going to have a grandchild
__ False alarm - you are NOT going to have a grandchild

Food:

__ Is great!
__ Even makes me appreciate your cooking
__ I have had pizzas for the last eleven meals

Grades:

__ I am making all A's
__ I am not being properly challenged
__ I will be home after this semester

I study:

__ Night and day
__ All the time
__ 80 hours a week
__ Only on Sunday afternoon
__ None of the above

Daily Devotions:

__ I read my Bible everyday
__ I can't read
__ Someone stole my Bible while I was at one of the local bars

On my last visit home, I left:

__ My glasses
__ My paper that was due yesterday
__ The clothes you washed for me
__ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment
__ Other _____________________________________________

Please send above items by Federal Express (Priority One) or UPS
(Blue)

Laundry:

__ My white underwear is now _________________
__ I am saving money by not using detergent
__ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester
__ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains

My room:
__ Can pass your "white glove" test
__ Is only _____% full
__ Could not be located last Saturday night
__ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training

Parties:

__ I don't inhale
__ I only go to meet people
__ Haven't been to one since this morning

Hope you:

__ Miss me
__ Can live without me
__ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence

Salutation:

__ Your Daughter,
__ Your Son,
__ Yours,

Zul

joke@cheerful.com

If you enjoyed this post then check out the huge humor archive:

Jokes For the Jolly
http://www.cyberhighway.net/~transnet/humor.htm

When encryption devices are outlawed, only EE39#PQOUDKE51275KK&!JKDXBP

If you would like to submit humor just reply to this post.

To reply via email to this post just deleate {remove} from the address.