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Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.tasteless.jokes,alt.tasteless
Subject: JonBenet - the tightest piece of Pussy you'd ever want!
From: Dallas@asshole.net (Dallas Satti)
Date: Wed, 21 May 1997 14:22:59 GMT

1) What did JonBenet's father get her for her first
birthday?

An elastic bandage to wrap her in so she would not explode
when he fucked her.

2) What did JonBenet's father get her for her second
birthday?

On the pill.

3) What did JonBenet's father get her for her third
Birthday?

A Fisher-Price Big Book of the Kamra Sutra.


4) What did JonBenet's father get her for her fourth
birthday?

A Bikini wax.

5) What did Jon Benet's father get her for her fifth
birthday?

Breast implants.

6) What did JonBenet's father get her for her sixth
birthday?

Embalmed.

7) Why did JonBenet cry the first time she had sex?

Because her father accidentially broke her pelvic bones.

8) How did the mother of JonBenet first find out husband was
fucking their daughter?

She came into the nursery and his Mastercard was stuck into
her Piggy bank, the room smelled of Brut and baby oil, and
JonBenet had two holes poked into her diaper.

9) JonBenet was walking around in limbo, awaiting Judgement
day and she began to cry. St. Peter walked up to her and
asked her why she was crying.

She walked over with him to the edge of Limbo and they both peered over
at the Earth. "Look", she said. My little girl's body has been
stretched and mangled. Where I was once beautiful, I am now
ugly. I am so afraid that the things that Daddy made me do
will not let me see Jesus."

St. Peter told her, "Do not worry child. I was watching you
and your life for your entire time on Earth. I listened
intently to what your father said about you, and watched
with great interest at the things he did to you. Do not
worry child. You will be held guiltless, when your judgement
comes. And your body will be healed."

At once she stopped crying and hugged St. Peter around his
neck, and thanked him for his help.

Judgement Day came, and true to the word of St. Peter
JonBenet was judged and found innocent. She was resurrected
in paradise.

One day she was walking around, skipping, singing,
and smelling the flowers, when she heard a familar voice behind
her call out her name.

She turned and saw St. Peter walking towards her. She waved
a greeting at him and ran off to meet him in a stand of
trees.

"You were right!," she exclaimed. I have been made whole. My
body is healed! I am like a normal little girl should be!"

St. Peter said to her, "I told you this would be.  Now you
have been healed and made whole again. Just like you
were as a little girl."

Her joy was short lived however as St. Peter suddenly
grabbed her, spun her around and tore off her panties. He
started to fuck her from behind saying, "You know. I have
waited for centuries to find out if what your father said
about you being the tightest piece of pussy he ever had was
true."

10) Why did it take 4 days to bury JonBenet instead of the usual 3?

Well, the guys at the Funeral Home wanted to fuck her too....

Dallas Satti