From kcds1@Juno.com Sun Sep 21 17:07:01 1997
Date: 18 Sep 1997 12:58:35 GMT
From: THE BIG PIG <kcds1@Juno.com>
Reply-To: THE BIG PIG <kcds@relex.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: Dictionary of Dating

           ^..^	      --(:)OINK!
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Received the following from Smart Lady of the House Yvonne at alt.angst:

A PIG/SLOTH dedication?

Forwarded message. 
Authorship?  
As if you care!

<<  DICTIONARY OF DATING (PG)
                       =========================
  DATING:
   The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time,  and energy to
get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the
present and will learn to like a lot 
   less in the future.
 
  EASY:
   A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.
 
  EYE CONTACT:
   A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is
interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have
difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, 
   not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a
woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
 
  FRIEND:
   A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw
which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
 
  INDIFFERENCE:
   A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as
"playing hard to get."
 
  IRRITATING HABIT:
   What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to
each other turn into after a few months together.
 
  NYMPHOMANIAC:
   A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.
 
  SOBER:
   A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
 
  ATTRACTION:
   The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
 
  LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:
   What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people 
meet.
 
  LAW OF RELATIVITY:
   How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to
how unattractive your date is. 

PIGS SITE OF THE DAY:  ^ÕThe British Monarchy - the official Web site 
http://www.royal.gov.uk

POOR INNOCENT GUY QUOTE OF THE DAY: "You fought the good fight.  You were
in it right up to the beginning."--Bruce Babbitt, Secretary of the Interior

(:)OINK!
THE BIG PIG

-- 
(:)PIGS (Poor Innocent Guys Society)
Dedicated to Poor Innocent Guys (victims of the wiles of women)
and the SLOTHS (Smart Ladies of the House)
who put up with them