From kcds1@Juno.com Mon Sep  8 21:59:06 1997
Date: 8 Sep 1997 15:26:56 GMT
From: THE BIG PIG <kcds1@Juno.com>
Reply-To: THE BIG PIG <kcds@relex.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: The Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say

(:)OINK!

Received the following from Poor Innocent Guy Paul of Idaho:

 Things men and women would never say.

The top 10 things you'll never hear a MAN say:

10. Here honey, you use the remote.
 9. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts
    are just too big.
 8. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie
    I gotta see!
 7. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
 6. Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will
    you go to the wallpaper store with me?
 5. Sex isn't that important; sometimes, I just want to be held.
 4. Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of
shoes?
 3. Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
 2. Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.

  ..and the number 1 thing a man will never say:

 1. We never talk anymore.

   -=*=-       -=*=-       -=*=-       -=*=-       -=*=-

The top 10 things you'll never hear a WOMAN say:

10. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
 9. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
 8. Oh, this diamond is way too big!
 7. And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!
 6. Can our relationship get a little more physical?  I'm tired of being
"just friends".
 5. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
 4. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out
how to get there.
 3. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.
 2. I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much 
    for a designer dress.

  ..and the number 1 thing you'll never hear a woman say:

 1. Hey, pull my finger!


PIGS SITE OF THE DAY:  Bold Type--Bold Type is a cooperative venture
between Bantam Doubleday Dell and Bookwire--it features excerpts from new
novels, along with essays by the authors.  An excellent read.:
http://www.bookwire.com/boldtype

POOR INNOCENT GUY SITE OF THE DAY: Company Secretary Finance Manager wanted
1) Half-grey haired executives.
2) Must be waist-deep in their field of activities.
3) Must be having the know-how and do-how of the latest developments in
their respective fields.
     Sales Manager, Area Sales Manager
4) Must go the whole-hug to keep things going.--from the Appointments
Vacant section of Business India

(:)OINK!
THE BIG PIG

-- 
(:)PIGS (Poor Innocent Guys Society)
Dedicated to Poor Innocent Guys (victims of the wiles of women)
and the SLOTHS (Smart Ladies of the House)
who put up with them