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From: Raymond W Jensen <rwj+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: PC Usage for Women.
Date: Fri, 11 Apr 1997 19:09:45 -0400
Organization: Doctoral student, Chemistry, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Lines: 153
Message-ID: <MnHgGtK00iWk09Dr80@andrew.cmu.edu>
References: <onHZAoa00iWm04bWA0@andrew.cmu.edu>
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Xref: marlin.ucsf.edu rec.humor:105541 alt.tasteless.jokes:56005

  >Politically correct usage for women
>
>
>She does not:
>GET PMS
>She becomes:
>HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL
>
>She does not have:
>A KILLER BODY
>She is:
>TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE
>
>She is not:
>A BAD COOK
>She is:
>MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE
>
>She is not:
>A BAD DRIVER
>She is:
>AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED
>
>She is not a:
>PERFECT 10
>She is:
>NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR
>
>She is not:
>EASY
>She is:
>HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
>
>She does not:
>HATE SPORTS ON TV
>She is:
>ATHLETICALLY BIASED
>
>She does not have:
>SEXY LIPS
>She is:
>COLLAGEN DEPENDENT
>
>She does not get:
>DRUNK
>She is:
>ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED
>
>You do not ask her:
>TO DANCE
>You request a:
>PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE
>
>She is not:
>A GOSSIP
>She is a:
>VERBAL TERMINATOR
>
>She does not:
>WORK OUT TOO MUCH
>She is an:
>ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER
>
>She does not have:
>A GREAT BUTT
>She is:
>GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS
>
>She is not:
>HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
>She is:
>MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED
>
>She is not:
>COLD OR FRIGID
>She is:
>THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE
>
>She does not:
>WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
>She is:
>COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED
>
>She does not have:
>GREAT CLEAVAGE (A GREAT RACK)
>Her breasts are:
>CENTRALLY LOCATED
>
>She will never:
>GAIN WEIGHT
>She will become:
>A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER
>
>She is not:
>A SCREAMER OR MOANER
>She is:
>VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE
>
>She does not:
>SHAVE HER LEGS
>She experiences:
>TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION
>
>She does not have:
>A HARD BODY
>She is:
>ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE
>
>She does not:
>SUN BATHE
>She experiences:
>SOLAR ENHANCEMENT
>
>Her breast will never:
>SAG
>They will:
>LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD
>
>She does not:
>SHOP TOO MUCH
>She is:
>OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS
>
>She does not:
>CUT YOU OFF
>She becomes:
>HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE
>
>She does not have:
>BIG HAIR
>She is:
>OVERLY AEROSOLED
>
>She does not:
>SNORE
>She is:
>NASALLY REPETITIVE
>
>She does not:
>GET DRUNK
>She becomes:
>VERBALLY DYSLEXIC
>
>She does not have:
>BIG HOOTERS
>Her:
>CUPS RUNNETH OVER
>
>She is not:
>TOO SKINNY
>She is:
>SKELETALLY PROMINENT