From nobody@REPLAY.COM Fri Nov 7 21:48:20 1997 Date: Tue, 4 Nov 1997 20:17:34 +0100 (MET) From: Anonymous Newsgroups: rec.humor, alt.tasteless.jokes Subject: Re: Pope-jokes Michael Hager wrote: > hi, I´m looking for jokes with or about the pope. please mail me, > thanks. Here's one of the best ones I've heard: The pope was struggling with celibacy and his sexual desires. He tried prayer, fasting, reciting the Rosary, all to no avail. Running out of options, the pope found a secluded spot in the Vatican basement and proceeded to masturbate. Midway through this little endeavor, he was startled by a bright flash of light and the unmistakeable sound of a camera shutter clicking, followed by the hasty retreat of footsteps. Knowing he'd been caught, he waited for the inevitable. Sure enough, a few days later a large envelope arrived with a photo clearly showing his sin and a demand for payment of the equivalent of $1 million or else the photo would be sold to the tabloids. After consulting with his advisors, it was decided that the money should be paid to avoid embarassment to the Catholic Church. The stipulation was added, however, that not only the negatives and all prints should be turned over to the Vatican, but the camera as well. The arrangements were made and the exchange took place. Feeling guilty about not only having sinned, but also having cost the church a million dollars, the pope decided that as his penance he should wear the camera for the rest of his life as a reminder. With the episode finally behind him, the pope was strolling the grounds of the Vatican when he encountered a group of Japanese tourists. After exchanging pleasantries, one of the tourists admired the pope's camera. When the pope was asked how much it cost, the pope replied, "$1 million". The startled tourist exclaimed, "A million bucks? Someone must have seen you coming!" --