From janderson$@mindspring.com Tue Nov 25 10:52:02 1997
Date: 21 Nov 1997 15:46:52 GMT
From: Gorfel <janderson$@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: Re: Confederate Driver's guide

You must be from a big southern city infiltrated with yankees.
In the rural areas of the south the following rules are more appropriate.



Stop lights
Stop a block before anticipating that the light will turn red.

Passing
Never pass anyone, unless stone drunk.

Speed limits
Always drive ten miles per hour under speed limit in no passing zones or in
curves.
Speed upto five miles per hour over speed limit in passing zones or when
the road straightens out.
If someone trys to pass you, it is your right and obligation to speed up
and race them.

Yield sign or entering two lane black top.
Always turn in front of on coming traffic regardless of how fast they are
going,
Take your time getting up to speed, see speed limits.

Interstate highways
When entering an interstate on a merge ramp, accelerate to get upto merge
speed and then stop at bottom of ramp until traffic clears.

Lane changes
Same rules apply as entering two lane blacktop.

Headlights
ALWAYS drive with your bright lights on, if a person flashes thier brights
at you, ignore them, they must be a yankee SOB.

Snow ice
ALWAYS slam on the brakes when you suspect ice, on top of bridges is a good
place to start.
If the snow gets too deep, stop your car where you are at, get out and
walk.