========
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: Things That Sound Dirty but Really Aren't
From: tragicglee@aol.com (TragicGlee)
Date: 12 Aug 1997 04:59:05 GMT

Things That Sound Dirty but Really Aren't

"I need to whip it out by 5!"
"Mind if I use your laptop?"
"Put it in my box before I leave."
"If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!"
"I want it on my desk, NOW!"
"HMMMMMMMMMMMMM........ I think it's out of fluid."
"My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish."
"It's an entry-level position."
"When do you think you'll be getting off today?"
"It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits there."

Things That Sound Dirty on Halloween but Really Aren't

"So...What'd you get in the sack?"
"Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!"
"Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!"
"Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!"
"I got the best piece from that house."
"Quit screwing around on the porch!!!"
"Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling..."
"It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!"
"They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you."
"I bobbed and bobbed, but couldnt get my mouth around it!!!!"

Things That Sound Dirty at Christmas but Really Aren't

"Reach in and grab the giblets." 
"Whew...that's one terrific spread!" 
"I am in the mood for a little dark meat!" 
"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist." 
"Talk about a HUGE breast!" 
"And he forces his way into the end zone!" 
"She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down." 
"It's cool whip time!" 
"If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!" 
"It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out." 
"Why don't you show me your new toys?"
"It's shorter than the others, but at least it stands up straight."
"Come sit on my lap and tell me what you want."
"Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire"
"The balls are hung so nicely."
"So have you been a good little girl this year?"
"Come back inside where it's nice and warm."
"Santa came last night and ate my cookies."
"My stocking's stuffed bigger than yours."
"Boy, we sure did get a lot of the white stuff this year."