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From: incubus@abd.net (The Incubus)
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: You're sniffing glue if you think....
Date: Wed, 09 Apr 1997 21:05:42 GMT
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You can have an intelligent & logical conversation with a woman.

You are going to get that raise.

You think you are going to get some this weekend.

You think you may have passed the test.

You think you boss really likes you.

You think he likes you for your mind.

You think you are going to get that raise.

You think you are indispensable to the company.

You are going to get more student aid.

You think she really does not want a baby.

You believe her when she says, "No, don't".

You believe him when he says he won't cum in your mouth.

You believe him when he says "I love you".

You believe him when he says "I'm sterile".

You are really going to get the bank loan.

The kitchen at your favorite restaurant doesn't have roaches.

The kitchen at your favorite restaurant doesn't use food that fell on
the floor.

The kitchen help at the restaurant always wash their hands have taking
a shit.

Your girlfriends beaver doesn't smell like dead fish.

Feminists shave under their arms.

Feminists wash their cootie.

Your wife tells you she would love to go to work and help with the
bills.

Your wife tells you she does not want any more kids.

Your lover tells you they never fanaticize about anyone else.

Your girlfriend/wife tells you she never masterbates.

You will be able to retire early.

You can get your credit cards paid off with just a little more time.

You can get extra MPG if you just wait 'till the NEXT gas station.

You don't have to ask directions.

No one is looking at your e-mail.

No one is talking behind your back.

You think everyone loves you.

Your friends will be glad to loan you money.

Your best friend would never think of 'doin' your woman.

Your woman would never think of doin your best friend.

You can talk your way out of the ticket.

You can cry our way out of the ticket.

You can unloosen your blouse way out of the ticket.

You can fuck your way out of the ticket.

Your lover REALLY has a head ache.

When she says my nipples are pointy.

When she says my nipples point toward the moon.

I'm tight.

I'm really too long for you.

I'm really to big.

I can't handle one that big, I'm tinny.

She's truthful when she tells you swallowing can make one pregnant.

She's truthful when she says I'll gag.  (She just does not want
YOURS!)

She has the only beaver in the world.

He's correct when he tells you it's medicine for your sore throat.

You think SOME politicians are honest.

You think she would never do that.

You think he would never do that.

The allowance you give goes just for what she says.

She is not materialistic and is content.

She does not want any diamonds.

She does not want any flowers.

Does not mind if you miss her birthday.

Does not mind if you forget the anniversary of your first glance.

Does not want you to be pusillanimous.

Does not want you to give up your masculine birthright.

	Please feel free to add the ones I forgot.


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