From Acewolf1@Microxl.Com Thu Oct 30 21:21:31 1997
Date: 29 Oct 1997 03:07:57 GMT
From: Girdle Popper <Acewolf1@Microxl.Com>
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: New Tax Form for Men - 1040P


Subject: New Tax Form for Men - 1040P 


                          GOVERNMENT NOTICE
                          -----------------
January 1, 1996
To:  All Male Taxpayers
From:  IRS
RE:  Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form 1040P
     --------------------------------------------
The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis.  This is due to the
fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time
it
is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is in
the hole.  On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 1996 your penis will be taxed according to
to its size using the AMPS (Average Male Penis Size) schedule.  To
determine your category, please consult the calculation and chart below and
confirm this information on page 2, section 7, line 3 of your standard 1040
form.

AMPS Schedule

Part I: Girth

Notice: do not measure the circumference, only the width

*3-2 inches       --Ouch Tax                       $75.00
2-1 inches        --Snug Tax                       $25.00

                                  Part I Sub-Total:

Part II: Length

*12-11 inches     --Luxury Tax (60% of part I)
 11-8 inches      --Pole Tax (40% of part I)
 8-6 inches       --Privilege Tax (25% of part I)
 6-4 inches       --Nuisance Tax (10% of part I)

                                  Part II Sub-Total:

                  Your Tax (Add Part I and Part II):

Please Note:
-----------

-Anyone under 1/2 inches for part I and under 4 inches for part II is
 eligible for a full exemption or you may decide to apply your exemption to
 the Presidential PE (Penis Enlargement) Campaign Fund.
-Anyone under 1/2 inches for part I but not under 4 inches for part II
 is eligible for an ND (needle dick) tax credit.
-Anyone under 4 inches for part II but not under 1/2 inches for part I
 is eligible for an SFD (short fat dick) tax credit.
- * Males exceeding 3 inches in part I must file Form-GBWO (Guiness Book of
  World Oddities)
- * Males exceeding 12 inches in part II must file for Capital Gains.

Size Chart for AMPS calculation:
-------------------------------
Instructions:  place penis on chart and note the sizes for both part I
and part II.

(Part II in inches)

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

0   1   2   3   4  (Part I in inches)

Please do not request an extension
----------------------------------

Sincerely,

Erick P. Ness
Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Services