From sunnyd@mail.gte.net Tue Sep 23 11:12:19 1997 Date: 21 Sep 1997 05:21:44 GMT From: Angie Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes Subject: Redneck's Guide to Computer Lingo This here is the WV Redneck's Guide to Computer Lingo LOG ON: Making the woodstove hotter LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood MONITOR: Keepin an eye on thet woodstove DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood ofn the truk MEGAHERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded FLOPPY DISK: Whatca git from tryin to carry too much farwood RAM: That thar thang whut splits th farwood HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter taim PROMP: Whut th mail ain't in th winter taim WINDOWS: Whut to shut when its cold outside SCREEN: Whut to shut when its blak fly season CHIP: Munchies fer th TV MICRO CHIP: Whuts left in th munchie bag INFRARED: Whur th left over munchies go, Fred eats em MODEM: Whatca did to the hay fields DOT MATRIX: Ol Dan Matrix's wife LAPTOP: Whur th kitty sleeps KEYBOARD: Whur ya hang th dang keys SOFTWARE: Them dang plastik forks and knifs MOUSE: What eats th grain in th barn MAIN FRAME: Holds up th barn ruf PORT: Fancy Flatlander Wine ENTER: Northern fer c'mon in y'all RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When yo cain't member whut ya paid for yer new rifle when your wife asks