The Bill Gates Song
   (to the tune of "The Christmas Song")
   Netscape roasting on an open fire,
   Apple begging on its knees,
   Photo popping up on Time magazine,
   Yes, Bill Gates dreams of days like these!
   Everybody knows he's never fully satisfied,
   Throws himself behind each task,
   World dominion is his company's goal.
   Well, hey, is that so much to ask?
   He knows the world is in his sway,
   We'll buy whatever software he might toss our way,
   We'll surf his Internet, watch his TV,
   He'll take us anywhere we ask him--for a fee.
   
   And so we're offering this simple prayer,
   To Bill and all his MS grunts:
   Since we all follow any standard you write,
   Make it good, please,
   Make it good, please,
   Make it good, please, just once!
   
   
   Gil Amelio's Coming to Town!
   (to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town")
   You better watch out,
   Absurd as it sounds,
   'Cause Apple's about
   To lose a few pounds--
   Gil Amelio's coming to town!
   
   He's making a list,
   And trimming the rolls
   Of projects that missed
   Their revenue goals--
   Gil Amelio's coming to town!
   He knows what's losing money,
   Like eWorld, PowerTalk . . .
   You'd better make your project work
   Or prepare to take a walk!
   
   Though you follow his lead
   Right out the back door,
   You know he'll succeed--
   He's done it before!
   Gil Amelio's coming to town!
   
   
   
   Violent Night
   (to the tune of "Silent Night")
   Silent Mac, broken Mac!
   System bombed, screen went black.
   Books suggested things; I tried 'em all:
   Shift key, desktop file, clean reinstall.
   Now my deadline is tight,
   This Mac's been silent all night.
   
   Violent night, horrible night!
   Lost my cool, filled with spite,
   Threw my Mac through the balcony door
   Watched it fall from the 20th floor,
   Now I'm sleeping in peace;
   Thank God I had it on lease.
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