The Top 10 reasons why John Ackley should get a longer contract


He respects the power of UNIX, unlike some other putzes in this place
He'll keep the depot directories!
Once again, Dennis Ritchie is not available to teach
He just loves the computer labs (#include <sarcasm.h>)
He completes the starting five CS basketball team as our point guard (Peck, Cindric, Ackley, Labbiento, Reiber)
I am not paid enough to teach...even though I do it anyway
He's not fond of COBOL, either
It's better than actually working
We needed a new prankster after Tom Kelliher left
Nobody else wants to work here

Back to the Top 10's.