Top 10 Corollaries of Murphy's Law
The more you enjoy your job, the greater the probability you'll be laid off
The bell always tolls for thee--when you have two overdue payments
The more you want a beer, the more expensive it gets
The woman you're trying to pick up in the bar is either married to a linebacker or a lesbian
The probability of enjoying sex is directly proportional to the probability of her having herpes
If you come to a yellow light and don't speed up, you'll miss it. If you do, the cop you didn't see will pull you over for speeding *and* running the light
No matter which lane you pick at the grocery store--it's not the express lane
Flatulence only occurs during important situations: your wedding, a court appearance, a job interview...
The power always goes out during the bottom of the 9th or the 2 minute warning
Even if you do your best, the next guy will say, "What was this guy smoking when he thought the stuff up?"