Top 10 Things Professors Say
(and what they really mean!)


1010% of your grade is based on class participation.
You are putty in my hands.
9The tests are all true & false and multiple choice.
Questions are straight from the study guide and grad students grade everything.
8Do not come to class in the middle of my lecture.
I have the attention span of a abalone.
7Save all of your questions until the end of class.
(same as above)
6Let's have class outside today.
I know chili & beans were lunch today.
5Two teaching assistants are available to help you.
Don't bug me with your stupid questions.
4The term paper is no longer a requirement.
There wasn't enough money in the budget for a TA.
3Let's go over the exam.
Half of you failed.
2Do not make marks on the quiz copy.
I've used these same quizzes since 1975.
1Attendance is mandatory and will be counted in your grade.
I'm so boring nobody would ever show up.

Credit: Jon Kunkle (see links)

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