Top 10 "Features" of Windows 98
Each new copy comes with
heavy-duty shrinkwrap
Disk protection unit keeps other
operating systems from invading your disk (like them systems by them
long-haired freaks :)
Default background is Bill
Gates' face
Free 10 minutes of Internet
connection
Prevents users of non-Intel
products from doing anything
Support for every device
imaginable-except the ones you have
You never have to reset - mainly
because it's been disabled
Blue Screen of Death
replaced by nicer, gentler "Kevorkian Window"
Superior process handling
prevents any unnecessary processes from taking up CPU time, like
anything from Lotus or Corel or Intuit
You never have to do
anything outside M$IE...mainly because you can't