Greg Gollinger's Text File Archives

Text File Archives

You must be able to view tables to read this file.

What's included in these archives:

Usenet Postings (alt.tasteless, alt.tasteless.jokes, talk.bizarre)

Electronic Books (including The Art of War and Paradise Lost)

Bad jokes received in e-mail

Stuff found throughout the Web and Gopherspace

Crap that I wrote. Don't expect much; I'm a CS/Math double-major. I don't speak/write English.

DISCLAIMER!Westminster College does not promote or condone any thing said or done in these text files. These are here for the sole purpose of your entertainment and/or education. To the best of my knowledge, all of these documents have been placed in the public domain. I hold no responsibility for the language presented in these documents. Sue the writers.

Feedback:Mail me at gollingj@keystone.westminster.edu.

Name KB Subject
10commandments.txt 12 The 10 Commandments of C Programming (old)
12days.not.txt 3 What really happened on the 12 Days of Christmas
25reject.txt 1 Top 25 Rejected Children's Books
2nd_treatise.txt 321 John Locke - Second Treatise on Government
9types.txt 5 Nine Types of Computer Users
accountant.txt 2 Accountant Jokes
acronyms.txt 2 Computer Acronyms
ada.txt 8 The Story of Dynamo Ada
advice.txt 4 Good Advice
aesop.txt 224 Aesop's Fables
alcohol.txt 12 How To Make Alcohol
alice.txt 5 Alice in UNIX Land
aliens.txt 4 Redneck Aliens
annoying.txt 6 How to be ANNOYING
answerin.txt 54 Many Answering Machine Messages
apples.txt 1 Special Apples
artofwar.txt 65 Sun Tzu's The Art of War
assicons.txt 1 New emoticons: Assicons
at_song.txt 6 The Alt.Tasteless Theme Song (many versions)
atq.faq.txt 12 The Alt.Tasteless.Jokes FAQ
atm_card.txt 4 Someone's Experience With ATM Cards (true)
aussie2.txt 13 A Brief History of the Beginnings of the Australian Football League
automobiles.txt 2 Automobile Acronyms
avenue.txt 3 A brief moment along an avenue
awk.faq.txt 35 The Comp.Lang.Awk FAQ
backwood.txt 5 Backwoods Physics
bad.info.txt 3 Bad Information
bed_golf.txt 2 The Rules of Bed-Golf
beer_jesus.txt 1 Beer vs. Jesus
beer2.txt .5 The Beer Song (do-re-mi)
beerfacts.txt 2 Beer facts
beerline.txt 2 A discussion about beer utility lines
beerprayer.txt .7 A prayer of beer
beowulf.txt 150 Beowulf
blasphemy.txt 5 God will strike you down for reading these jokes
blondes2.txt 10 Blonde Jokes (as if we needed more)
bofh_classic.txt 20 Bastard Operator From Hell (classic version)
bricks.txt 2 Injury Claim Form
bsdfaq.txt 332 BSD FAQ
bumperstickers.txt 3 Bumper Stickers
busarrest.txt 1 Disorderly conduct on a bus
c_xmas.txt 2 The 12 Days of UNIX
calif.txt 2 Real answers to a California drunk driving class exam
caloriesfromsex.txt 5 Calorie-to-Sex Burning Guide
candyfun.txt 1 Fun With Candy
cansuch.txt 346 Ambrose Bierce - Can Such Things Be*
cant_tal.txt 616 Geoffrey Chaucer - The Canterbury Tales
carlin.txt 1 The weird sayings of George Carlin
cartoon_drugs.txt 4 Cartoon Characters that are Suspected to be on Drugs
cc.txt 4 Greg Gollinger's Top Whatever List - Things Heard in the Math/CS Lab
cerveza.txt 10 Top 76 Ways a Beer is Better Than a Woman (Spanish Version)
chinese.txt 1 The Chinese Restaurant Menu
chinesetorture.txt 2 The Ultimate Chinese Torture
choad.man.txt 2 The Manpage for CHOAD
christms.txt 3 A Sexually Explicit Christmas Story
classes.txt 4 Professors <-> Students
clintonjokes.txt 4 Miscellaneous Clinton Jokes
cloning.txt 3 Questions about cloning
colonic.txt 1 A Colonic
comm_man.txt 73 Marx & Engels-The Communist Manifesto
common.txt 126 Thomas Paine-Common Sense
compsongs.txt 120 Computer Songs (Hack'n'roll)
comp_stupid.txt 3 Stupid Computer User (yes, another one)
computer.txt 4 You Think You're Computer Illiterate!
condoms.txt 1 Slogans for National Condom Week
cookbook.txt 4 Jean Paul Sartre's Cookbook
cops.txt 1 Two cops were talking about...(read on!)
cows.txt Canonical List Of Cows
crabby.txt 6 Familiar Quotations...revised
creation.txt 5 The OTHER story of creation
d.txt 16 The Darwin Awards 1996-1998
dal_cow.txt 1 Dallas Cowboys' Jokes
deadbabies.txt 11 Dead Baby Jokes
decwars.txt 23 The Original DEC Wars
deductive.txt 1 Deductive Logic
definitions.txt 1 Weird Definitions
devils.txt 396 Ambrose Bierce - The Devil's Dictionary
diana.txt 1 Lady Di jokes...cat flames > /dev/null
dick.txt .6 It's Tough Being A Dick
dilbert.laws.txt 3 Dilbert's Laws of Business
dirtyeddie.txt 1 Dirty Eddie
disaster.txt 4 Generic Disaster Movie Plot
diskettes.txt 3 Proper Care of Diskettes
div_barbie.txt 1 Divorced Barbie
do-it.txt 50 The Canonical `Do-It' List
dogsvwomen.txt 1 Dogs versus Women
dr_seuss.txt 1 If Dr. Seuss wrote a computer manual
drinking.game.txt 3 The Web Surfing Internet Party Game
drugcomp.txt 1 Comparisons Betweeen Drug Dealers and Software Developers
dumb_q.txt 8 Dumb Quotes
dumplines.txt 2 Lines to dump by
early_ret.txt 1 Early Retirement Notice
elevator.txt 4 Things to do While You're in an Elevator
elflore.txt 10 Elven Lore
elvis.txt 2 Elvis versus Jesus Christ
email.penis.txt 1 How E-Mail is like a penis
eskimo.txt 2 Three Eskimos
eviloverlord.txt 3 If I were an evil overlord...
exgirlfriend.txt 1 Be My Ex-Girlfriend
farrakhan.txt 2 Joke about Arabs
flameform.txt 2 Generic Flaming Form
flatland.txt 201 A Square (Edwin A. Abbott) - Flatland
food_chain.txt 1 The College Food Chain
footy1.txt 3 1997 Aussie Rules Football Interesting Stats
foul.txt 4 Foul Language in the Office (letter from management)
freud-occult.txt 35 Sigmund Freud's Studies of the Occult
fridge.txt 3 Story in an apartment building (told to St. Peter)
frog.txt 1 The Lucky Talking Frog
fruitcake.txt 1 Fruitcake recipe
fuck.txt 3 How to use fuck as a meaningful word
gar_eden.txt 1 The Garden of Eden (what really happened)
gates_heaven.txt 5 Bill Gates in heaven
genasys.txt 6 Gen-a-sys: The Real Story of Creation
gentlemen.txt 3 A Quick Quiz for the Gentlemen
gf_help.txt 6 The Girlfriend Help Desk
girls.txt 18 --Read This, Girls!--
golfjoke.txt 2 Golf Joke
goodtime.txt 2 The Good Times Virus Update
grade_change.txt 3 Universal Grade Change Form
guerilla.txt 104 Guerilla Warfare
hale.bopp.txt 1 A Message From Hale-Bopp
headache.txt 3 The Man With A Headache
headlines2.txt 30 Headlines!
helpdesk.txt 4 The Help Desk Gets Personal
hemplife.txt 111 Hemp-Lifeline to the Future
hicks.txt 1 Redneck Marriage
home.txt 3 Generic letter home
honeymoon.txt 1 Honeymoon Night
horoscopes.txt 3 Horoscopes
horror.txt 2 Things You Shouldn't Do in a Horror Movie
hotel.txt 7 Soap in a hotel room
hs_col.txt 2 Differences Between College and High School
hunting.txt 4 A Hunter's Story
ideas.txt 1 Good Ideas (?)
idiots.txt 3 Examples of Idiots
imp_math.txt 3 Impure Mathematics
internet.txt 4 Internet Addiction
jargon40.txt 1281 The M.I.T. Jargon File - Version 4.0.0
jehovas_witness.txt 4 Getting rid of Jehovas' Witnesses
jerk.txt 6 Story of a Jerk -or- How To Get Revenge
jerky.txt 4 Michael Shanafelt's Top Ten Lists
jesus_modem.txt 2 Did Jesus Need A Modem?
johndenver.txt 15 John Denver Jokes
johnny2.txt 8 Little Johnny Jokes
jokes.txt 164 Just a few miscellaneous jokes.txt
jonbenet.txt 3 Perverted Jon-Benet Ramsey Jokes (#include "dryheave.h")
kiddies.txt 3 Kiddies' Quotes
kids2day.txt 2 Kids Today...
killing.txt 1129 Wasserman & Solomon - Killing Our Own
koala.txt 1 Koalas and Prostitutes
languagelist.txt 381 List of Programming Languages (1992)
legal_hi.txt 76 Legal Highs
life-dog.txt 6 Life According To Dog
life's.txt 5 Life's Great Questions
limericks.txt 144 Limericks
lost_con.txt 210 Edgar Rice Burroughs - The Lost Continent
macbeth.txt 106 William Shakespeare - MacBeth
man.txt 5 Another Man Test
manwoman.txt 4 Man Song & Woman Song
manvwoman2.txt 2 Husband & Wife itemize their relationship
mcd_doug.txt 4 The McDonnell-Douglas Warranty Registration Card
mensa_pickup.txt 2 Mensa Pickup Lines
menvwomen.txt 2 The Glossary of Men's & Women's Terms
men_wedding.txt 5 If men were in charge of weddings...
mexicans.txt 23 Mexican Jokes (alt.tasteless.jokes)
mommy.txt 7 Mommy, Mommy Jokes
ms_dinner.txt 3 Microsoft TV Dinners
mud_life.txt 14 Life In a MUD
necronomicon.txt 74 The Necronomicon
net2.txt 19 The Search for Internet II
never.txt 2 Things you'll never hear a man/woman say
newt_pbs.txt 3 Newt Gingrich's Version of PBS
nursery_rhymes.txt 11 Perverse and disgusting nursery rhymes
o_schitt.txt 1 O. Schitt and his family
old_dick.txt .9 An ode to an old dick
on_liberty.txt 283 John Stuart Mill - On Liberty
opcodes.txt 29 Opcodes That Really Ought to Exist
orangedick.txt 1 The Guy With The Orange Dick
p_jokes.txt 173 Practical Joke List
pagan_yule.txt 20 Pagan Yule Customs
pastorfuzz.txt 1 A moment with Pastor Fuzz
patients.txt 2 Weird things that doctors say about patients
pbsodomy.txt 2 Partial Birth Sodomy (sick sick sick)
pc.women.txt 2 Politically Correct Terminology for Women
peergynt.txt 266 Henrik Ibsen - Peer Gynt
pennyshit.txt 4 Shitting Money!
pickups.txt 40 Pickup Lines Guaranteed to Work
piss.txt .6 Announcement by Coors (The name of the file says it all)
pope.txt 1 The Pope and a camera
prdc_lst.txt 470 John Milton - Paradise Lost
programm.txt 2 Programming Languages compared to Automobiles
prophyl.txt 16 The Canonical List of Condom Jokes
psych.txt 40 Psychadelic Drugs
queerterms.txt 1 Terms for them guys who ain't liking the wimmenfolk...
questions.txt 2 G. James Gollinger - Why Do Books Cost So Damn Much and other questions
raven.txt 7 Edgar Allen Poe - The Raven
real_prg.txt 3 Real Programmers...
realcs's.txt 3 Real Computer Scientists...
realse's.txt 3 Real Software Engineers...
recipe.txt 1 Recipe for love
recursive.txt 12 Recursive Storytelling
redneck2.txt 2 A redneck will NEVER say...
redneckdrive.txt 1 Rules of driving in redneck areas
religion.txt 41 Religious Jokes (I'm going to hell for it)
research.txt 3 How to Read/Write a Research Paper
robinhud.txt 1 The OTHER `Fairy' Tail of Robin Hood
rodeo_sex.txt 2 Rodeo & Sex
rp.txt 24 Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal
rsv.txt 11 Random Senseless Violence
rules_sex.txt 4 Rules of sex
safe_fax.txt 2 FAQ - Safe Fax
santa.txt 5 Top 30 Ways to Confuse Santa Claus
scandal.txt 3 Anatomy of a scandal
sci_math.txt 50 The FAQ page for sci.math
sci_secr.txt 228 Scientific Secrets - 1868
seamen.txt 2 This file name has been purposely misspelled
sexist.txt 11 Very Sexist Jokes (see disclaimer)
sheep.txt 1 Sheep Jokes (#include Wyoming.us; #include Wales.uk)
shit.txt 13 The Shit Happens List
shit2.txt 6 The Shit List
sicknot.txt 2 Things that sound sick but aren't
sickxmas.txt 5 Perverted Christmas Carols
sinkofdoom.txt 10 The Sink of Doom - Warning: Not for faint of stomach
skiing.txt 5 The Skier's Dictionary
sleeper.txt 1 A sleeping guy in church
slogans.txt 3 Foreign Company Slogans
smiley.txt 6 The Canonical List of Smileys (aka Emoticons)
smurfs.txt 8 The Smuckfest
sniffingglue.txt 4 You Know You're Sniffing Glue When...
snow.txt 3 The Classic "Snow"
soaps.txt 3 Generic Soap Opera plotline
sonnet.txt .7 The Sonnet that is now my .signature
sororitygirl.txt 3 Sorority Girl Autobiography
southbap.txt 2 Southern Baptist Boycotts
starwars.txt .7 Star Wars Top 10 Lists
statemottos.txt 5 Unofficial State Mottos
stereo.txt 5 Troubleshooting Your New Stereo
subj_wom.txt 259 John Stuart Mill - On The Subjection of Women
surgery.txt 1 Stuff you don't want to hear during surgery
sysadmin.txt 13 Know Your UNIX System Administrator
tandem.txt 4 Tandem Writing Assignment (actually turned in)
tax.penis.txt 2 The U.S. Government's Plan to Tax the Penis
taxi.txt .6 Another taxi joke...
t.b.b.g.txt 17 The Talk.Bizarre Board Game (tm)
ten.little.gb.txt 1 Ten Little Gigabytes
tenne_c.txt 7 The Programming Language 'Tenne-C'
terms.txt 3 Terms for everything
terror.txt 2 The story of 'The Terror'
thejuice.txt 1 The Juice by Dr. Seuss (well, not quite)
therules.txt 1 The Rules
thesis.txt 3 A Rabbit's Thesis (Aesopian)
thinnest.books.txt 1 The World's Thinnest Books
toaster.txt 4 In the market for a new toaster?
toilet.txt 2 Memo from management - Toilet Usage
trickor.txt .7 Trick or Treat - Top Ten List
twonuns.txt 2 Two Nuns - Saturday Night
unemployment.txt 2 The Unemployment Line
unix.txt 6 UNIX is a Program Gone Bad
unix_alp.txt 2 The UNIX Alphabet
unix_purity.txt 3 G. Gollinger - The UNIX Purity Test - A work in progress
unixwars.txt 25 The Original UNIX Wars
useless.txt 20 Absolutely Useless Facts
user-friendly.txt 1 How to be User-Friendly
utopia.txt 231 Sir Thomas More - Utopia
vasectmy.txt 8 A vasectomy in vivid detail
versace.txt 1 Versace & Co. song
viruses.txt 6 The Virus List
voodoodick.txt 5 The Story of Voodoo Dick
wal-mart.txt 5 Things to do at Wal-Mart
web_cult.txt 3 Signs your Webmaster is in a Cult
weirdshit.txt 7 Real Newspaper Articles.
whitesup.txt 1 How to tell if you're a white supremacist bastard
wives.txt 10 Wives & Sorority Girls (Not my opinions)
woman.txt 7 Best things about being a woman (Hafta give 'em equal time :)
wordpowr.txt 5 Word Power
wv_comp.txt 1 West Virginian Redneck Guide to Computers
xmassong.txt 1 The Christmas Songs (not quite)
xtrasick.txt 8 The Sesame Street Gang Learns Something New
yank_ka.txt 658 Mark Twain - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
yomama.txt 24 The Canonical List of Yo' Mama putdowns
Y.O.D.A.txt 3 Y.O.D.A. - sung to Y.M.C.A.
zippergate1.txt 4 Zippergate!

Name	KB	Subject
10commandments.txt	12	The 10 Commandments of C Programming (old)
12days.not.txt	3	What really happened on the 12 Days of Christmas
25reject.txt	1	Top 25 Rejected Children's Books
2nd_treatise.txt	321	John Locke - Second Treatise on Government
9types.txt	5	Nine Types of Computer Users
accountant.txt	2	Accountant Jokes
acronyms.txt	2	Computer Acronyms
ada.txt	8	The Story of Dynamo Ada
advice.txt	4	Good Advice
aesop.txt	224	Aesop's Fables
alcohol.txt	12	How To Make Alcohol
alice.txt	5	Alice in UNIX Land
aliens.txt	4	Redneck Aliens
annoying.txt	6	How to be ANNOYING
answerin.txt	54	Many Answering Machine Messages
apples.txt	1	Special Apples
artofwar.txt	65	Sun Tzu's The Art of War
assicons.txt	1	New emoticons: Assicons
at_song.txt	6	The Alt.Tasteless Theme Song (many versions)
atq.faq.txt	12	The Alt.Tasteless.Jokes FAQ
atm_card.txt	4	Someone's Experience With ATM Cards (true)
aussie2.txt	13	A Brief History of the Beginnings of the Australian Football League
automobiles.txt	2	Automobile Acronyms
avenue.txt	3	A brief moment along an avenue
awk.faq.txt	35	The Comp.Lang.Awk FAQ
backwood.txt	5	Backwoods Physics
bad.info.txt	3	Bad Information
bed_golf.txt	2	The Rules of Bed-Golf
beer_jesus.txt	1	Beer vs. Jesus
beer2.txt	.5	The Beer Song (do-re-mi)
beerfacts.txt	2	Beer facts
beerline.txt	2	A discussion about beer utility lines
beerprayer.txt	.7	A prayer of beer
beowulf.txt	150	Beowulf
blasphemy.txt	5	God will strike you down for reading these jokes
blondes2.txt	10	Blonde Jokes (as if we needed more)
bofh_classic.txt	20	Bastard Operator From Hell (classic version)
bricks.txt	2	Injury Claim Form
bsdfaq.txt	332	*BSD FAQ
bumperstickers.txt	3	Bumper Stickers
busarrest.txt	1	Disorderly conduct on a bus
c_xmas.txt	2	The 12 Days of UNIX
calif.txt	2	Real answers to a California drunk driving class exam
caloriesfromsex.txt	5	Calorie-to-Sex Burning Guide
candyfun.txt	1	Fun With Candy
cansuch.txt	346	Ambrose Bierce - Can Such Things Be
cant_tal.txt	616	Geoffrey Chaucer - The Canterbury Tales
carlin.txt	1	The weird sayings of George Carlin
cartoon_drugs.txt	4	Cartoon Characters that are Suspected to be on Drugs
cc.txt	4	Greg Gollinger's Top Whatever List - Things Heard in the Math/CS Lab
cerveza.txt	10	Top 76 Ways a Beer is Better Than a Woman (Spanish Version)
chinese.txt	1	The Chinese Restaurant Menu
chinesetorture.txt	2	The Ultimate Chinese Torture
choad.man.txt	2	The Manpage for CHOAD
christms.txt	3	A Sexually Explicit Christmas Story
classes.txt	4	Professors <-> Students
clintonjokes.txt	4	Miscellaneous Clinton Jokes
cloning.txt	3	Questions about cloning
colonic.txt	1	A Colonic
comm_man.txt	73	Marx & Engels-The Communist Manifesto
common.txt	126	Thomas Paine-Common Sense
compsongs.txt	120	Computer Songs (Hack'n'roll)
comp_stupid.txt	3	Stupid Computer User (yes, another one)
computer.txt	4	You Think You're Computer Illiterate!
condoms.txt	1	Slogans for National Condom Week
cookbook.txt	4	Jean Paul Sartre's Cookbook
cops.txt	1	Two cops were talking about...(read on!)
cows.txt		Canonical List Of Cows
crabby.txt	6	Familiar Quotations...revised
creation.txt	5	The OTHER story of creation
d.txt	16	The Darwin Awards 1996-1998
dal_cow.txt	1	Dallas Cowboys' Jokes
deadbabies.txt	11	Dead Baby Jokes
decwars.txt	23	The Original DEC Wars
deductive.txt	1	Deductive Logic
definitions.txt	1	Weird Definitions
devils.txt	396	Ambrose Bierce - The Devil's Dictionary
diana.txt	1	Lady Di jokes...cat flames > /dev/null
dick.txt	.6	It's Tough Being A Dick
dilbert.laws.txt	3	Dilbert's Laws of Business
dirtyeddie.txt	1	Dirty Eddie
disaster.txt	4	Generic Disaster Movie Plot
diskettes.txt	3	Proper Care of Diskettes
div_barbie.txt	1	Divorced Barbie
do-it.txt	50	The Canonical `Do-It' List
dogsvwomen.txt	1	Dogs versus Women
dr_seuss.txt	1	If Dr. Seuss wrote a computer manual
drinking.game.txt	3	The Web Surfing Internet Party Game
drugcomp.txt	1	Comparisons Betweeen Drug Dealers and Software Developers
dumb_q.txt	8	Dumb Quotes
dumplines.txt	2	Lines to dump by
early_ret.txt	1	Early Retirement Notice
elevator.txt	4	Things to do While You're in an Elevator
elflore.txt	10	Elven Lore
elvis.txt	2	Elvis versus Jesus Christ
email.penis.txt	1	How E-Mail is like a penis
eskimo.txt	2	Three Eskimos
eviloverlord.txt	3	If I were an evil overlord...
exgirlfriend.txt	1	Be My Ex-Girlfriend
farrakhan.txt	2	Joke about Arabs
flameform.txt	2	Generic Flaming Form
flatland.txt	201	A Square (Edwin A. Abbott) - Flatland
food_chain.txt	1	The College Food Chain
footy1.txt	3	1997 Aussie Rules Football Interesting Stats
foul.txt	4	Foul Language in the Office (letter from management)
freud-occult.txt	35	Sigmund Freud's Studies of the Occult
fridge.txt	3	Story in an apartment building (told to St. Peter)
frog.txt	1	The Lucky Talking Frog
fruitcake.txt	1	Fruitcake recipe
fuck.txt	3	How to use fuck as a meaningful word
gar_eden.txt	1	The Garden of Eden (what really happened)
gates_heaven.txt	5	Bill Gates in heaven
genasys.txt	6	Gen-a-sys: The Real Story of Creation
gentlemen.txt	3	A Quick Quiz for the Gentlemen
gf_help.txt	6	The Girlfriend Help Desk
girls.txt	18	--Read This, Girls!--
golfjoke.txt	2	Golf Joke
goodtime.txt	2	The Good Times Virus Update
grade_change.txt	3	Universal Grade Change Form
guerilla.txt	104	Guerilla Warfare
hale.bopp.txt	1	A Message From Hale-Bopp
headache.txt	3	The Man With A Headache
headlines2.txt	30	Headlines!
helpdesk.txt	4	The Help Desk Gets Personal
hemplife.txt	111	Hemp-Lifeline to the Future
hicks.txt	1	Redneck Marriage
home.txt	3	Generic letter home
honeymoon.txt	1	Honeymoon Night
horoscopes.txt	3	Horoscopes
horror.txt	2	Things You Shouldn't Do in a Horror Movie
hotel.txt	7	Soap in a hotel room
hs_col.txt	2	Differences Between College and High School
hunting.txt	4	A Hunter's Story
ideas.txt	1	Good Ideas (?)
idiots.txt	3	Examples of Idiots
imp_math.txt	3	Impure Mathematics
internet.txt	4	Internet Addiction
jargon40.txt	1281	The M.I.T. Jargon File - Version 4.0.0
jehovas_witness.txt	4	Getting rid of Jehovas' Witnesses
jerk.txt	6	Story of a Jerk -or- How To Get Revenge
jerky.txt	4	Michael Shanafelt's Top Ten Lists
jesus_modem.txt	2	Did Jesus Need A Modem?
johndenver.txt	15	John Denver Jokes
johnny2.txt	8	Little Johnny Jokes
jokes.txt	164	Just a few miscellaneous jokes.txt
jonbenet.txt	3	Perverted Jon-Benet Ramsey Jokes (#include "dryheave.h")
kiddies.txt	3	Kiddies' Quotes
kids2day.txt	2	Kids Today...
killing.txt	1129	Wasserman & Solomon - Killing Our Own
koala.txt	1	Koalas and Prostitutes
languagelist.txt	381	List of Programming Languages (1992)
legal_hi.txt	76	Legal Highs
life-dog.txt	6	Life According To Dog
life's.txt	5	Life's Great Questions
limericks.txt	144	Limericks
lost_con.txt	210	Edgar Rice Burroughs - The Lost Continent
macbeth.txt	106	William Shakespeare - MacBeth
man.txt	5	Another Man Test
manwoman.txt	4	Man Song & Woman Song
manvwoman2.txt	2	Husband & Wife itemize their relationship
mcd_doug.txt	4	The McDonnell-Douglas Warranty Registration Card
mensa_pickup.txt	2	Mensa Pickup Lines
menvwomen.txt	2	The Glossary of Men's & Women's Terms
men_wedding.txt	5	If men were in charge of weddings...
mexicans.txt	23	Mexican Jokes (alt.tasteless.jokes)
mommy.txt	7	Mommy, Mommy Jokes
ms_dinner.txt	3	Microsoft TV Dinners
mud_life.txt	14	Life In a MUD
necronomicon.txt	74	The Necronomicon
net2.txt	19	The Search for Internet II
never.txt	2	Things you'll never hear a man/woman say
newt_pbs.txt	3	Newt Gingrich's Version of PBS
nursery_rhymes.txt	11	Perverse and disgusting nursery rhymes
o_schitt.txt	1	O. Schitt and his family
old_dick.txt	.9	An ode to an old dick
on_liberty.txt	283	John Stuart Mill - On Liberty
opcodes.txt	29	Opcodes That Really Ought to Exist
orangedick.txt	1	The Guy With The Orange Dick
p_jokes.txt	173	Practical Joke List
pagan_yule.txt	20	Pagan Yule Customs
pastorfuzz.txt	1	A moment with Pastor Fuzz
patients.txt	2	Weird things that doctors say about patients
pbsodomy.txt	2	Partial Birth Sodomy (sick sick sick)
pc.women.txt	2	Politically Correct Terminology for Women
peergynt.txt	266	Henrik Ibsen - Peer Gynt
pennyshit.txt	4	Shitting Money!
pickups.txt	40	Pickup Lines Guaranteed to Work
piss.txt	.6	Announcement by Coors (The name of the file says it all)
pope.txt	1	The Pope and a camera
prdc_lst.txt	470	John Milton - Paradise Lost
programm.txt	2	Programming Languages compared to Automobiles
prophyl.txt	16	The Canonical List of Condom Jokes
psych.txt	40	Psychadelic Drugs
queerterms.txt	1	Terms for them guys who ain't liking the wimmenfolk...
questions.txt	2	G. James Gollinger - Why Do Books Cost So Damn Much and other questions
raven.txt	7	Edgar Allen Poe - The Raven
real_prg.txt	3	Real Programmers...
realcs's.txt	3	Real Computer Scientists...
realse's.txt	3	Real Software Engineers...
recipe.txt	1	Recipe for love
recursive.txt	12	Recursive Storytelling
redneck2.txt	2	A redneck will NEVER say...
redneckdrive.txt	1	Rules of driving in redneck areas
religion.txt	41	Religious Jokes (I'm going to hell for it)
research.txt	3	How to Read/Write a Research Paper
robinhud.txt	1	The OTHER `Fairy' Tail of Robin Hood
rodeo_sex.txt	2	Rodeo & Sex
rp.txt	24	Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal
rsv.txt	11	Random Senseless Violence
rules_sex.txt	4	Rules of sex
safe_fax.txt	2	FAQ - Safe Fax
santa.txt	5	Top 30 Ways to Confuse Santa Claus
scandal.txt	3	Anatomy of a scandal
sci_math.txt	50	The FAQ page for sci.math
sci_secr.txt	228	Scientific Secrets - 1868
seamen.txt	2	This file name has been purposely misspelled
sexist.txt	11	Very Sexist Jokes (see disclaimer)
sheep.txt	1	Sheep Jokes (#include Wyoming.us; #include Wales.uk)
shit.txt	13	The Shit Happens List
shit2.txt	6	The Shit List
sicknot.txt	2	Things that sound sick but aren't
sickxmas.txt	5	Perverted Christmas Carols
sinkofdoom.txt	10	The Sink of Doom - Warning: Not for faint of stomach
skiing.txt	5	The Skier's Dictionary
sleeper.txt	1	A sleeping guy in church
slogans.txt	3	Foreign Company Slogans
smiley.txt	6	The Canonical List of Smileys (aka Emoticons)
smurfs.txt	8	The Smuckfest
sniffingglue.txt	4	You Know You're Sniffing Glue When...
snow.txt	3	The Classic "Snow"
soaps.txt	3	Generic Soap Opera plotline
sonnet.txt	.7	The Sonnet that is now my .signature
sororitygirl.txt	3	Sorority Girl Autobiography
southbap.txt	2	Southern Baptist Boycotts
starwars.txt	.7	Star Wars Top 10 Lists
statemottos.txt	5	Unofficial State Mottos
stereo.txt	5	Troubleshooting Your New Stereo
subj_wom.txt	259	John Stuart Mill - On The Subjection of Women
surgery.txt	1	Stuff you don't want to hear during surgery
sysadmin.txt	13	Know Your UNIX System Administrator
tandem.txt	4	Tandem Writing Assignment (actually turned in)
tax.penis.txt	2	The U.S. Government's Plan to Tax the Penis
taxi.txt	.6	Another taxi joke...
t.b.b.g.txt	17	The Talk.Bizarre Board Game (tm)
ten.little.gb.txt	1	Ten Little Gigabytes
tenne_c.txt	7	The Programming Language 'Tenne-C'
terms.txt	3	Terms for everything
terror.txt	2	The story of 'The Terror'
thejuice.txt	1	The Juice by Dr. Seuss (well, not quite)
therules.txt	1	The Rules
thesis.txt	3	A Rabbit's Thesis (Aesopian)
thinnest.books.txt	1	The World's Thinnest Books
toaster.txt	4	In the market for a new toaster?
toilet.txt	2	Memo from management - Toilet Usage
trickor.txt	.7	Trick or Treat - Top Ten List
twonuns.txt	2	Two Nuns - Saturday Night
unemployment.txt	2	The Unemployment Line
unix.txt	6	UNIX is a Program Gone Bad
unix_alp.txt	2	The UNIX Alphabet
unix_purity.txt	3	G. Gollinger - The UNIX Purity Test - A work in progress
unixwars.txt	25	The Original UNIX Wars
useless.txt	20	Absolutely Useless Facts
user-friendly.txt	1	How to be User-Friendly
utopia.txt	231	Sir Thomas More - Utopia
vasectmy.txt	8	A vasectomy in vivid detail
versace.txt	1	Versace & Co. song
viruses.txt	6	The Virus List
voodoodick.txt	5	The Story of Voodoo Dick
wal-mart.txt	5	Things to do at Wal-Mart
web_cult.txt	3	Signs your Webmaster is in a Cult
weirdshit.txt	7	Real Newspaper Articles.
whitesup.txt	1	How to tell if you're a white supremacist bastard
wives.txt	10	Wives & Sorority Girls (Not my opinions)
woman.txt	7	Best things about being a woman (Hafta give 'em equal time :)
wordpowr.txt	5	Word Power
wv_comp.txt	1	West Virginian Redneck Guide to Computers
xmassong.txt	1	The Christmas Songs (not quite)
xtrasick.txt	8	The Sesame Street Gang Learns Something New
yank_ka.txt	658	Mark Twain - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
yomama.txt	24	The Canonical List of Yo' Mama putdowns
Y.O.D.A.txt	3	Y.O.D.A. - sung to Y.M.C.A.
zippergate1.txt	4	Zippergate!